Goodbye Past Pains... Hello 2012!!!

I trusted him!  He told me that he loved me; we talked about building a life together.  I believed him!  We had history, there had to be mutual love involved.  Obviously not, because at a mere disagreement, he’s gone!  All the dreams, everything I invested in that relationship…  Gone!  How could he do that to me?  How could it be so easy to walk away?  Didn’t I mean ANYTHING to him?  I’m angry, hurt and disappointed!  I also fear being alone and starting all over.  Damn, it’s frustrating to trust again and open my heart to someone else.  How do I move on?

Haven’t we all been there before?  Whether distress was experienced from a lover or sistah friend, carrying hurt or the feelings of betrayal prevent us from trusting and loving again.  How do we move on?  How do we not allow the past pains to reside within?  WE MUST FORGIVE!  Forgiveness is not saying it was okay.  It is never okay to be hurt by another person.  Forgiveness releases the accusation and person from having power over you.  Some of our hurts transpired from our childhood, past marriage, a wayward child or a backstabbing friend.  Have you met someone who is still raging in anger from an offense that happened 10 years ago?  It is so life-damaging and toxic!  The hurt can entangle us and if we are not careful it could become a permanent part of our lives.

Take your power back by forgiving.  Yes, forgiving releases the individual but it also releases YOU.  Forgiveness is a process.  You do not just turn it on and off.  First, you make the decision to forgive then walk out every day with the mindset of letting it go.  When the offense comes to mind, say out loud “You do not have a place in my heart anymore, you must go NOW!”  The more you work on letting go past or present pains the less the sting becomes and it eventually truly becomes a part of your past.

However, learning from the past is empowering.  What did that hurtful relationship teach you?  What are the life lessons from that situation?  Grab hold of the life lesson but release the individual and situation.  We have three more days before entering a new year!  Make the decision NOW to not take that crap, abuse, pain, disappointment into the New Year.  I know it was horrible, the pain is real deep but there is so much awaiting you in 2012; do not pollute a new opportunity with the pain of the past.

Thank you for supporting this blog during 2011.  Here’s to a happy, prosperous, purpose-driven, and exciting New Year!

ANYTHING X 0 = 0

Remember the elementary school years when you transitioned in math class from addition and subtraction to multiplication.  At first it may have been difficult to understand the concepts of multiplication it always allowed reaping more than addition ever could, for example 10 + 10 = 20 yet 10 x 10 = 100.  There were set multiplication rules that never changed.  One in particular, is anything times zero equals zero e.g. 5 x 0 = 0.  It did not matter whether the first number was five or a thousand as long as it was multiplied by zero it would always equal zero.  As adults, those mathematical rules probably do not have much importance however they do within a different perspective.  For example, any IDEA multiplied by ZERO ACTIONS equals ZERO RESULTS!

Dreaming and having idea(s) are exciting conversely if you do nothing to bring them into fruition you really can’t expect to see results.  Saying abracadabra or solely wishing does not work taking action and responsibility are the ingredients necessary for producing results.  Living life takes work!  This mathematical principle still has significance in our lives today.  Your idea does not have to be major like starting a business.  It may simply consist of cleaning the house, filing papers, releasing weight, finishing school, reading a book, networking and/or attending a play.   The amount of work involved or number of ideas does not matter when multiplied against zero.  To gain results you must do something; increasing your actions will consistently reap greater and greater results.

Activate the multiplication principles in your life NOW by doing something, take ACTION today!

Happy Holidays!!!

What do you believe?

Happy Friday!  I just wanted you to know I believe in you.

I believe there is greatness in you.

You can be & do anything you set your mind to do.

I believe you are one decision away from changing your life.

Despite the clouds, the sun has not disappeared and that cloud can’t stay forever.

I believe every life mistake has been strategically placed to serve you in the future.

You are wiser, stronger, and better today than yesterday.

I believe small steps will turn into large steps if you are consistent.

If you never make a move you’ll stay stagnated.

I believe everything around us is changing every single day, in fact every moment.

Unfortunately, sometimes our mind is the only thing not changing.

I believe that no matter how bad life gets, there is still something to be grateful for…

I am grateful, so grateful, that you are in my life.

I believe…

For Every Abuse there is Healing at the Cross!

According to RAINN.com (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network) one out of six American women has been sexually abused in their life time.  In other words, if it hasn’t happened to you then you probably know someone that has gone through this type of abuse.  Whether it happened in their childhood, teen years or adulthood, the plague or as I like to call it “the sting” of this abuse is lasting until you give it to God for healing.  Abuse no matter what kind, penetrates the core and often many mask the occurrence but it shows up.  It can show up when you least expect it ~ while you are watching a movie or listening to a song, hearing someone else’s testimony or just seeing it on the news again that horrible memory can rear its ugly head.  We never have to be a victim of abuse, instead be a VICTOR in Christ Jesus.  For every abuse there is healing at the CROSS!  Wholeness only comes through Christ.  Healing is a process, nonetheless, only Jesus Christ can make you whole. 

I was introduced to this poet who is creatively taking the Word of God and bringing life through poetry.  Her raw delivery of the truth transcends the expectation of every listener and captivates every heart.  I pray her ministry blesses you and causes you to give any residue of abuse over to God.  How?  Just pray, “Lord, take the pain, sting, every memory of this abuse and make me whole.”  Leave the rest to God.  He is bigger than your problem, stronger than your issue, He is able, He can and I pray that He will!

Reconcile the Issues!

     Happy Tuesday!  Today, I am extending an invitation to those of you who are ready to reconcile the issues of your life that are in contradiction of what’s reality and truth!  As long as we allow our root issues to lie dormant it keeps us from living our authentic life.  So many of us have allowed abuse, uninspired words & negative whispers, rejection, suppression of our true self, and/or abandonment access into our life and belief system.  Why is that?  Could it be there is an engrained belief that keeps you from realizing your worth and GREATNESS?  No, not what your ex, momma, friends, or enemies had to say…  I am talking about the things YOU believe!  Out of ALL the negative trash spoken and the attempts of plots and ploys to hold you in bondage, you did not accept them all! However, there are certain things you chose to believe.  So the question is what is it about those certain things that cause you to convince the mind they are true.  Why?  We must confront the naysayers in our mind? 

     Most advisors would say to stop believing those debilitating thoughts.  Yes, many have the ability to silence those voices but I believe most can not.  There’s much more involved than telling the mind, it is the matter of convincing the mind that those negative thoughts are not real.  I propose reconciling the issue.  Now, this technique can not be used for every issue.  But there are some issues you do have the power to fix and/or change.  If you can fix it why don’t you so that issue does not have life to speak any longer.  If there is a root issue that has convinced you that you are not good enough, ask yourself why do I believe that?  Why do I make excuses for people’s crap and justify it?  There has to be a reason.  When you are willing to speak the truth about that issue, I would like to encourage you examine if this is something you can change.  For example:

1. If you believe people with degree land better jobs and are more successful then get a degree so you can stop using that for an excuse of why your life is not where you desire.
2. If you think sexy and beauty is packaged in a size 4 then lose that weight so you can silence the voice that says you are not beautiful.

Perhaps you will find out those beliefs were never true!!!  And as a result, perhaps you can finally believe something else.

 The invitation has now been sent, I hope you accept.

(If you are interested to have this blog in a MP4 format please let me know and I'll forward via email.)



Your Decisions + Thoughts + Beliefs = YOUR LIFE!

Right now, your life is a sum total of all your decisions, thoughts and beliefs!

Are you satisfied with the life you are currently leading?

Could there be areas in your life that need attention or fine tuning?

If so…  All you have to do is MAKE A NEW DECISION, CHANGE YOUR THOUGHT LIFE, AND/OR EVALUATE YOUR BELIEFS.

Making a change no matter how small will drastically shift your current outcome; it WILL affect your future!

Take the time to meditate that...

your life, today, is the sum total of all your decisions, thoughts and beliefs.

As the season is transitions into Fall/Winter, you too, transition from where you are to where you want to be!

CHANGE MUST START WITH YOU!!!

My Re-occuring Message!

Happy Friday…  I’ll let you be a fly on my wall so you can see where I’ve been mentally and emotionally for the last month or so…  God has a way of saying a message over and over and over until you get it.  For about a month I have been hearing the message of changing my thought life.  A friend lent me some CD’s and it really revolutionized my life.  I could see that any limitations I am currently experiencing are a result of my present thoughts.  Once accepting that, the flood of messages from different people came in reinforcing the same message… Cathy, change your thoughts, so you can change your life…  Subsequently, a book I am also reading took it a step further and said… I should envision this. 

Now, I’ve done this before, we all daydream but while in a waiting room, this week, I tested the theory, closed my eyes and saw my life in a way I never have before.  It floored me!  I began to experience the Holy Spirit whisper… “Think Higher; have you ever considered your life this way?”  My thoughts were filled with aspirations, but they were average and safe.  They were dreams that made sense, yet God is trying to get me to desire, envision and speak the life He has for me…  So fast forwarding to today, I got an email from Tyler Perry about the inspirational videos he is posting on his website.  My eyes drifted to the video that said “You can get anything you want” as I listened once again that reoccurring message emerged.  And I feel compelled to share. 

As I am right in the midst receiving and learning this valuable lesson, I want to encourage you to dream bigger.  Allow God to give you a glimpse of His vision for your life.  I am sure it will floor you like it did me.  Believe it, write it down (decree it) and claim it (declare it). 

 http://www.tylerperry.com/scrapbook/inspirational-corner/   Enjoy his videos ~ very inspirational!  

Have you Ever Wondered?

Have you ever stopped and wondered why, out of all the people in this planet only certain ones have graced your life?  Out of all the people whom you befriended, only certain ones remained.   I am sure you can reflect back to your High School days when there was a galore of people around, yet only one may be sharing your life with you today.  Whether you are on this planet 30 years, 60 years or 18 years you have not had the opportunity to meet every person in this planet, however the somebody’s you have met are significant.  They ALL serve a purpose; the good, bad and ugly!  Even the ones you are trying to get rid of and the individuals that get on your everlasting nerves, yep them too. 

Why???  They could be here to either pour into you, change things about you, resurrect dormant things within you, elevate you to the next level, distract you from seeing purpose, uproot or dismantle your issues, to heal, some are mentors, others followers or simply supporters, some need what you have, most are here for you to serve, this list can go on and on but despite the WHY, every person is presently here purposefully.   Know, God is using them all, even the distractors, to serve a greater purpose in your life today.    Allow their purpose to become complete by embracing and celebrating them all.

Get UP & Play the Fourth Quarter!

Alright ladies & gents, here we are in the fourth quarter of the year.  This is the last round for 2011 and still an opportunity on hitting SEVERAL homeruns!  Despite all that happened in the last three quarters one hit can shift the game into a win.  You can make a comeback in the fourth quarter! 

Where are you?  Are you in the dugout, frustrated because you’ve tried and tried but no present results?  Have you already given up because you cannot see a possible win this year?  Stop looking at the scoreboard, its temporary!  Do not let anyone or anything keep you from playing the game. 

I’ve called the last time out.  See us in a huddle…  Yeah, I’m in your face!  “Get back out there!  Dust off the failed quarters and get back into the field.  Focus on the goal and swing as hard as you can.  It’s not too late.  We have one more quarter.  Let’s play the rest of 2011 STRONG, FIERCE and PURPOSEFUL!”  See us celebrating…  You knocked it out the park!  You did it!  You made the best of 2011!!!  All because you believed… 

Rock your OPTIONS!

In the words of Chris Rock, “Wealth is not about making money, but about having options.”   How true is that?!?  There are individuals with no money but wealthy in mind, heart, relationships and spirit.  Then there are those categorized as rich, but find themselves, lonely, empty, lost and in despair.  As long as you have choices you can re-write the ending of your life story.  With options there is something to hope for.  I think sometimes we forget how many options we have.  We often do not explore the alternatives when making decisions.  Sometimes we reject or accept without exercising the opportunity to choose.  For instance, Kim feels like she is in a dead end job.  Yet, if she could press pass her emotions she will realize the situation is not hopeless.  Kim can quit, stay, actively seek a new job, or transfer.  She is in control, and has the power to change her circumstances.  Kim has OPTIONS, and so do YOU.  Today, Chris Rock & I encourage you to explore your options.  Realize things are not always as they seem, and do not be afraid to make a new choice.  Tap into your wealthy place! 

The Thursday Morning Challenge

This morning I got to surprise one of my best friends for her birthday.  I arrived 6:10 a.m. at the Tri-rail with flowers, a card, and rousing words to shout her out.  Boy was she surprised and I felt so much joy to do this!  That joy overshadowed all the other stuff I was dealing with.  Previously, my car broke down, I got it fixed and it still has problems; Monday I was getting ready to post my new blog and my computer busted, with my blog in that computer!!!  One thing after another, everything to take my joy, yet I remained calm knowing God got this and will work everything out!  However to my surprise, my greatest release came, this morning, when I bought someone else joy!  We have to give what we need…  I know you understand when everything is a hot mess, and that last thing you want to do is give, but I challenge you this morning...  In fact, I double dare you!  GIVE WHAT YOU NEED and watch how it BOOMERANGS back in your life!  Share your experiences...

Breath... Breathe!

What a beautiful stilled shot Alvin Ailey captured of their powerful and eloquent dancer.  My initial impression was breath.  We are but a mere breath that was given by God.  Within that breath contains life, creativity, and purpose.  As well as, the ability to stand, be, and endure.  We tend to view our existence here as so long but within eternity our life on earth is only a moment in time.  What will you do with your moment; will your life add or take away?  Will your life enhance or destroy?  Let’s dig deeper, will you come into the full knowledge of who you were created to be?  Will the dash between your birth and death be meaningful or empty?  Only you can answer these questions. 

Ladies, at the end of the day, it does not matter the mountains you have had to climb or the dry valley moments; what really matters is what you decide as a result from those experiences.  Do you learn or do you blame?  Is gratefulness flowing from your heart or do you resent the process of life?  Will you allow your spirit to soar or will you sit closed in because of past hurts and pain?  Realize, every hurt allows you to bend deeper, grow stronger.  Are you flowing with the rhythm of life or will you fight the currents life is trying to bring you towards?  See, it’s your decision, it is your choice! 

Why not yield?  Yield to the Holy Spirit.  Yield to God’s greater vision.  Allow your breath (moment of life on earth) be something that makes a magnificent difference.  Let it be a refreshing breeze of love and gratitude.  I invite you to breathe my sistahs… Breathe!

Don't forget to leave your wisdom on our page...

My September 11th life lesson...

My greatest life lesson as a result of September 11th is all I really have is this moment in time. I lost some wonderful men and women that horrible day. I was in New York the previous week of the infamous September 11th and was supposed to meet up with my previous boss and friends for lunch before returning home. I was running behind for the lunch date, so I decided to cancel since I would be back for the holidays and we could do lunch then…. If I only knew there would not be a next time, nothing would have kept me from keeping that appointment. That hurt me to my heart. So often, we relax in thinking there would be a next time!

9/11 reminds me to live out every moment; stop reserving people for another time. If you are on my mind today… I am going to make the call. Life should not be so busy that I can’t make a call, visit, send a card, text or email. There are no excuses; the job, business venture, home, hobbies, internet, etc… are not more important than your loved ones! Please, be sure to make the time for others.

In memory of my dear friends, your death will never be in vain. Even though I missed that moment in time, you will stay in my heart until the end of time. I love you and will always remember.  Share your 9/11 life lesson...

What if you don't "Win"?

I watched the movie “The Longshots” starring Ice Cube and Keke Palmer.  I was taken by the end of the movie.  The football team did not win the game; right at the end their player missed the catch.  Yet, when they got back home from the game, to their surprise, a crowd was waiting for their return celebrating as if they won.  This crowd of celebrators was able see that a “win” was not solely based by the scoreboard, but the change the team bought to the town.  I began to see this as a transferable concept about life.  How many of us still celebrate despite not obtaining a win?  Your win may be a successful relationship, promotion on the job, positive doctor’s report or reaching success in business.  Regardless of what you envision as a win, the art of winning is appreciating the WHOLE picture. 

What does celebrating in spite of a “win” provide?  I’m glad you asked. 

·         It keeps you from giving up.

·         Creates momentum.

·         Causes you to apply the necessary learning curve.

·         Annihilates the negative mindset of failure.

Remember:  Wins come packaged in many different trappings, and there is always a part of the journey to celebrate.   The Word reminds us to celebrate NOW, praise NOW, shift NOW, give NOW, be NOW, exercise faith NOW; not after the win, not because of the win, but due to the fact you are still here, able to grow, learn and change, RIGHT NOW!

Why Not Celebrate?

I am so excited to publish my 1^st blog the day after my 42^nd birthday.  (I’m still in birthday mode, lol)  I find it interesting that certain individuals do not place any value on their special day…  "What's the big deal; it's just the day I was born!"  For real????  Well, let me break it down for you...  First, there is no mistake to the timing or details of your origin.   Despite the possible conditions of your birth, (rape, abandonment, and/or abuse) nothing can alter that right here, right now you are supposed to be here!  You were created with unique gifts, skills and a specific purpose.  Talk about being special… There is no two of you!  Your "birth"day is the day God graced the world with your presence, not because He needed to populate the earth…  Instead, it was time for what ONLY you can do.  Sounds like you have a reason to CELEBRATE!!!

Every year, I reflect over the past year (GRATEFUL), set new goals for my personal New Year (PLANNING) and do something special (CELEBRATE).   What is your birthday regimen?  And, when you reflect on the word "birthday" what comes to mind?

(NKJ - Ps. 119:73; Jer. 1:5; Ps. 139:13-18)