A mid-life crisis is nothing more than an opportunity...

I spoke with a friend coming up on the big 4-0.  Instead of feeling excited, he was panicking.   Frightened because he was close to the halfway mark in life and did not accomplish what he thought he would, fearful of how aging will affect him financially and worried about being alone (since he has no wife or children).   He was simply in a state of panic about what his future holds.

I think we all have considered our life and thought OMG where am I and where am I going?  However, this is not the time to entertain depression this is an opportunity for change by implementing new strategies.

I did not have the answers for him but was able to share some wisdom…

1. Be Grateful – Seeing another year healthy and well is a blessing.  Having a grateful heart tends to overshadow what you do not currently have.
2. Plan – Your life today is the sum total of your decisions.  Not pleased with the current outcome then make new choices that could provide the desired outcome.
3. Change – In continuation with item 2, as you plan begin to implement strategies to maintain or increase better health, financial structure, social connections.  Make the necessary changes for success.
4. Live – All you are guaranteed is this moment so live joyfully and peacefully.  Have fun.  Learn a new skill.  Travel.  Do something you have always wanted to do.
5. Celebrate – Celebrate every small and large win.  Celebrate the day you were born.  Celebrate all your life experiences.  Celebrate that you are still here.  Celebrate!

The To-Do List…

We have less than two months left for 2012.  There is perhaps an item you wanted to make happen that has not been touched yet.  It’s not too late.

Writing things down can make a world of difference in accomplishing or not accomplishing things.  Most individuals that write a to-do list get more things done than those that do not.  Make a list of the items you desire to achieve then choose ONE realistic goal that can be done before the end of this year.

READY… SET… GO…  Get moving you have less than eight weeks, however you can do it. 

Post your accomplishments on this blog so we can help you celebrate.

Embracing the Moment

We have all experienced a delightful moment and wanted it to transcend into our future.  But sometimes a moment is all it is… a moment!  It wasn’t a season, lifetime or introduction to anything.  It was just a moment filled with purpose.  If we are not careful, we can lose the impact of life’s moments.

Our lives are filled with strings of moments.  If we ignore every moment we will miss their purpose.  I believe moments are bite-sized life lessons to excite, insight, inspire, renew, reveal, recharge, remind, provide caution, quicken, bring joy, celebrate, invigorate, as well as provide information.

I encourage you to reflect on your last impactful moment.  What did it provide?  What did you learn?  How does it change your outlook on the future?  Do not use your human effort to make it into something more.  If its intention is for something greater it will materialize if you just let it happen.

The Birthing Room

Enduring a process can feel like it’s staged in a birthing room. 

Individuals are there cheering you on yet none of them are feeling the pain you are experiencing, causing you at times to feel alone.  The desire to have the baby (promise) has reached a crescendo, but the necessary pain accompanied with this moment is frightening.  The pain seems unbearable and is filled with panic, fear and doubt.  The realization is clear, the only way to stop the pain is to go through it – pushing through the pain to obtain the promise is the only way. 

Obtaining the promises of God could require you to push pass the emotions of screaming, crying, profusely sweating, squeezing a hand, taking calculated breaths, giving all you have within to receive it.  You have to push pass doubt, the unknown, insecurity, abuse, the past, your disappointments and failures.  You can do it ~ you can push through the birthing phase into promise.  Just PUSH!

Letting Go in LOVE

It hurts when individuals decide to leave our lives.  However holding them hostage physically, emotionally or mentally is nothing less than poison to your bones.  It is like a cancer that eats from the inside out.  We hold individuals hostage when we do not forgive.  Even though, many do not want to hear it… the way to forgiveness is through love. 

The act of "loving yourself" materializes each and every time you let go of the anger, drama, and the sting associated with that person and/or occurrence.  Yep, it’s easier said than done however, concentrating on “letting go” instead of “holding on” will move you closer towards healing.  Surely, the day will come when you can see their exodus as a life lesson without the pain.

Save Yourself First!

Airline stewardesses remind us when communicating safety procedures to place the air mask on ourselves first before helping ANYONE else.  Without ensuring your safety the risk of dying and not being able to assist others becomes magnified.  Saving yourself first is not a selfish act – it is a strategic approach to better ensure that everyone will make it through the crisis safely.

As women, we tend to take on the “saving the world syndrome” while dying within.  Initially, there are feelings of great momentum and strength that comes with wearing an “S” on your chest.  However, if you do not save yourself first you run the risk of burning out and becoming ineffective to all parties.

So adhere to this warning!  Get “you” right; make sure “you” are secure; ensure “your” health FIRST.  And the chances of withstanding while saving others will increase tremendously.

OLYMPIC WISDOM

The 2012 Olympics have been wonderful.  I have been watching sports that I never knew existed and loving it all.  There were many surprises and high expectations of who would obtain the Gold, Silver and Bronze metals, nevertheless, every player provided insight that we can transfer into our day to day interactions.  As I share the Olympic Wisdom I learned, please include your comments of what inspired you from these players.

Wisdom 1:

Determination, discipline, hard work and consistency are basic requirements to be in the game.  Whether obtaining a win or not every player has to develop and train to reach success of simply being a part of the Olympics.  I heard some players’ share they had not watched TV for over a year, others had to be separated from family and friends for a long period of time.  The bottom line is they had to do whatever it took to become Olympic worthy.  Nugget:  You and I must do the work required to be and win in the game of life.

Wisdom 2:

Confidence -   Much of what separates excellence from averageness are those who believe in themselves.  This belief caused many Olympians to exceed their own expectations.    As they believed in their ability it was almost like they gained superman/superwoman abilities where there was nothing they could not accomplish.  Nugget:  Great confidence will allow you to excel far above those who still wonder if they are good enough. 

Wisdom 3:

It takes a whole team to WIN!  Even when some players were individual participants in their particular sport, for example the divers, it still took the coach, their families, peers and supporters rooting them on, encouraging and empowering them  to cultivate the win.  To make it to the top and acquire greatness it will take a team.  Nugget:  There are no lone rangers in the game of life; it takes a team to WIN.

So now it’s your turn.  Please share how you have been inspired by the Olympians this year.

No matter what you do, NEVER give up!

A few weeks ago, I was faced with a moment of despair, frustration and weariness!  I know you understand, when you are working on a project for weeks, months, even years and it just does not seem to progress the way you expect.  My project was a business venture but it could have been a relationship, financial breakthrough, weight loss, etc...  In disappointment, I wanted to pack it up and sit down.  But I thank God that He knows just how to send the right people, situation, song, and sermon to pick me back up.  God knows just what you need to get that second wind that keeps you pushing and pressing towards VICTORY.

Trust me, you will make it.  Things will work out but we must go through the grueling process if we plan to WIN.  Yep, the process is no picnic; it is not easy but worth it if you hold on.   We all deserve a time-out moment and may even entertain the “giving up” syndrome.  However, do not stay there too long; a 24 hour time out session can turn into 24 months if you are not careful.  Take a night, weekend off then get back in the game.  During your time of recuperation maximize the moment by doing something that brings you enjoyment and/or relaxation! 

I LOVE music!  This song encourages me; may these lyrics bless you too.

There will be mountains that I will have to climb
And there will be battles that I will have to fight
But victory or defeat, it's up to me to decide
But how can I expect to win If I never try.

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me.

Please, share your strategies for getting out of a funk and getting back into the flow. 

Your Preference may not be MINES...

I apologize for my lapse in sharing by blogging; wonderful changes are coming soon, but in the meantime, I’m back and ready to share…

Every person has the opportunity to live their life on their terms.   At times, an individual’s life decisions can be difficult to understand, annoying, chaotic and/or troublesome to another.  What is normal to a certain individual can be crazy thinking to you.  However, we all have the freewill to make choices…

One’s preference may be to drink their coffee dark while another thinks it would taste awful that way and prefer their coffee with flavored cream and sugar; one person may think gaining a college degree is overrated and expensive while another person sees it as an opportunity for expansion, promotion and leverage.  Is anyone more right than the other?  In these cases no, we all have preferences! 

Even in our life convictions when we take a stand not compromise any other view point as right, an individual still has the right to disagree.   This was a difficult life lesson for me.  I had to mature in the understanding that he or she has the right to live their life the way they desire.  However, I do not have to agree with you to love you. 

Healthy relationships at times require we agree to disagree.  How has someone else’s preferences caused discomfort for you?  And how can you look beyond their difference(s)?

Summer Prayer

This prayer by Inspired Women blessed me so I decided to share and pray it blesses you too.  If I could express my heart wishes in prayer for you it would be...

Father, this month completes the first half of this year and and we thank You for all that You have done and continue to do in our lives. We thank You for the dreams, blessings, and grace that You have bestowed upon us. We thank You for those things that You have yet to unfold. As we look ahead to the next six months, we ask that You would continue to guide us with wisdom.  We ask that for those that have become weary, the latter half of this year be greater and they reap a 100 fold harvest of Your goodness. We ask for a refreshing to the body of Christ.

Father, we also pray for the families that will be traveling and enjoying this summer. We ask that You cover them with angels of protection, and fill them with Your love, peace, joy, and happiness.  We bless and cover all of Your children...In Jesus' Name. Amen

Happy Summer! 

Get to Work as "Life Manager"!

When it comes to accepting the role of wife, mom, sister, or girlfriend we are usually open to the responsibility involved.  However, we tend to ignore our role as manager.  Manager over what, you may ask?  Your life. 

Many individuals are comfortable with managing their households, children and workplace, yet never consider themselves as manager over their body, finances, mind and spirit.   A manager is someone who oversees, governs, and keeps things in order, maintains and measures efficiency.  In the workplace, meeting the quota, increased productivity, and a well-run team reveals and measures a manager’s effectiveness.  Unfortunately, in regards to our lives we can hide and/or be in denial with how we are really doing.  Examining these questions can reveal the truth of how effective you function as “life manager”.

·       FINANCES:  Am I managing my finances well?  Do I have a retirement plan?  Am I utilizing a monthly budget?  Do I spend more than I save?  Can I account for where my money goes monthly?   Do I invest?  Am I getting paid what I’m worth?  Am I utilizing all my resources to create wealth?

·       BODY:  Am I fueling my body with the nutrients it needs to run at its optimum level?  Do I exercise to keep my heart and body strong?  Do I sleep at least 6 hours per night?   Do I consume vegetables and fruits through-out the day?  Do I drink a minimum of eight glasses of water a day?  Do I skip breakfast?  Do I accept and love my body the way it is right now?

·       MIND:  Do I choose to think positive thoughts?  Am I blaming others for my life or do I take responsibility?  Is it difficult for me to forgive?   Is it hard for me to let go of the past?  Am I feeding my mind with constructive information?  Do I rest my mind from the day’s activities?  Am I an avid learner?  Do I believe in myself?  What do I think about most of the time?  When was the last time I felt creative?

·       SPIRIT:  Do I pray for myself and others?  Am I feeding my spirit more than my belly?  When was the last time I read the Bible (at least a scripture per day)?  Do I consult God with my problems and issues?  Am I in a constant state of worry?  Do I have a heart of gratefulness or am I consumed with not having enough?

Carefully and honestly reflect over these questions.  Awareness is the initial phase towards CHANGE.  An out of control or unproductive life can become a magnet that attracts chaos from the outside.  If you are unaware of how to manage a certain area of your life, read a book, seek mentorship, talk with others skilled in that area, Google it or pray, there are far too many resources to utilize.   It is never too late nor are you in such a mess that your life is hopeless.  Shift into a life of order and balance by operating as manager in every area of your life.  Now, get to WORK!

PAMPER YOURSELF!

When we think of the word “pampering” the first thing that usually comes to mind is facials, bubble bath, massage, buying clothes and/or jewelry.  Though those things are great and important, there are other meaningful ways to pamper your life, let’s explore:

Pamper your MIND

·       Feed your mind with inspiration and empowerment; this can be accomplished through reading, education (taking a class), being around uplifting, empowering individuals, and/or quiet time.

·       Quiet the mind so you can THINK.  Tell those voices to BE QUIET!  Quietness is therapeutic, it allows the mind to relax and have clarity which is necessary in decision making and critical thinking.

·       Release the past, negative crap and everything that holds you back from moving forward. Stress is taxing to the body, mind and soul so LET IT GO!

·       PAMPER YOUR MIND BY CLEARING YOUR MIND!

Pamper the BODY

·       It is easy to apply lotion, perfume and make up on your body; however, true beauty starts from within.  Start to take care of your body by taking vitamins, exercising and proper nutrition.

·       Create a body care regime!  i.e. Washing your face twice a day, maintaining up-to-date doctor appointments and/or adding juicing to your daily life.  Every quarter add something new.

·        Pamper your life by only speaking self-empowered positive words and affirmations.

Create a Pampered ENVIRONMENT

·       Create a space that causes you to think, relax, rest, be at peace.  Turn off the phone, take a bubble bath and/or play your favorite music do whatever it takes to create peace in your life.  Spend time in a space that brings you joy.

·      Take time out for yourself, even small increments of 15 minutes a day can make a difference in shifting your mood and attitude.

Pamper your SOUL

·       Your soul is the 3^rd component of you that houses your mind, heart and EMOTIONS!

·       It can be dangerous to trust your feelings, you can feel one way today and another way tomorrow about the same issue, give yourself time to feel without reacting. 

·       Examine why you say what you say and do what you do ~ get those emotions in check.

·      When you are emotional talk with a trusted, level-headed person or say NOTHING, let it marinate before you respond.

Pamper your SPIRIT

·      This is your center; everything rests and is supported on your relationship with God.  It is imperative to spend quality time with Him; this will increase your quality of life.  

·       Read the Bible or spiritual material, pray, and go to church, these things will strengthen (pamper) your life.

Pamper your life completely by giving specialized attention to every aspects of your life.  Join me in repeating this affirmation.

Affirmation:  I am well, healed and whole because I pamper my mind, body, environment, soul and spirit DAILY!

The Process of the Seed

Ever pondered how a small seed has the ability to become a tree that produces more seeds, and those seeds have the ability to become a forest.  All this potential out of one small seed… 

Of course, the seed must go through a process.  Probably not exciting for the seed, it realizes it must be buried in a dark, lonely place, become broken and die in order to reach its full potential.  The timeframe in the ground is not overnight; it is a long grueling process before any sign of life is displayed as the budding stem shoots through the dirt.  Even in this phase, the budding plant is not out the woods, there is always potential to not become strong enough to develop and grow.  The stem needs outside elements to help in its development; light and water become vital for the stem’s nourishment.  Did the seed consider the process it had to endure to reach purpose?  Have you considered the process you must go through to reach your potential? 

As you committed towards reaching your passions and dreams, be encouraged and remember…

1.      Reaching your full potential is a process; it does not happen overnight. 

2.      Do not abandon the process due to the feelings of loneliness, brokenness, and the dying season necessary during the process.  You can endure!  You are stronger than you think.

3.      Some of us get through the dying season but relax during the budding season.  Finally there is light at the end of the tunnel and sometimes we stop working and developing.   Keep the faith and do not lose heart or get distracted.

4.      The process requires more than you, other elements are necessary for your development.   The elements could be certain individuals, education, prayer, or even a hug.  Be open and welcome the experience.

5.      There is GREATNESS inside of you just waiting to be discovered.

6.      Despite the greatness of the seed the tree is jammed-packed with greater potential.

It's your WALK UP CALL!

Good Morning! Today is your WAKE UP CALL.

You have made it into the 2^nd quarter of 2012.  Take a look at the last 3 months that flew by this year. What have you accomplished?  Were there any significant changes towards developing your desired future?  Have you been able to remove an item from your to do list?  This is the quarter when the excitement for change can begin fizzling out.  You must stay focused and not lose heart.  It would be a good time to assign an accountability partner; someone you trust.  Find someone that has the time, drive and commitment to assist you towards reaching the goal.
Perhaps you totally fell off after the third week of January.  All is not lost, make an assessment (see where you are), create a new plan and get going. Achieving goals create a momentum. Prioritize your goals by most important and ones that will not take much time or effort to achieve. Creating small wins will encourage movement as you tackle the larger goals. This is not the time to relax and chill; it is time to recalibrate, reassess and re-energize!

If you are in need of a coach to assist as you create a plan, set it in motion and hold you accountable then do something about it!  Call a friend today and ask for their help; or pull out some paper and pen, write down your top 3 goals, prioritize and then make a plan; or make the first step by calling Cathy at 1-800-859-6523 for your complimentary consultation. 

NO MORE EXCUSES, PROCRASTINATING, OR SHOULDA, WOULDA, COULDA’S!  RIGHT NOW IS THE ONLY MOMENT YOU HAVE ~ MAXIMIZE IT!

The Power of Commitment

When you hear the word commitment what comes to mind?  Do you think of words like promise, pledge, vow, obligation, dedication, loyalty, faithfulness, etc.?  If so, do you feel exhilarated by hearing those words or do you feel fatigued and defeated only to sweep your dreams, desires and goals under your imaginary rug? Commitment is the art of staying focused on the desires, dreams, and goals we have in our hearts.  Without it our hopes and dreams are irrelevant and we begin to live a defeated life void of passion and purpose.

I recently read a quote by Anthony Robbins who is a self-help author and motivational speaker that says “One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.” Commitment requires hard work and a tenacity to never give up. It’s required in marriages, dating relationships, career goals and other aspirations one may have.  Let’s face it, life is demanding and everyday we’re faced with new challenges to overcome.  Everyone has experienced a time where their commitment to a person or goal has waivered.  We begin the journey of giving up but we feel a nudging in our hearts that tells us to hold on, give it another try or simply stand still. It’s at this point we need to activate our faith and believe what we’re hoping for will manifest. 

Mastering the art of commitment will ultimately alter the trajectory of your life.  It will inspire you to perform to the best of your abilities, demonstrate to the world that you are serious about taking action, while giving you the opportunity to protect and strengthen your credibility and reputation with yourself and others.  Think about it, as you exercise the art of commitment you will be strengthened to face life challenges.  We won’t feel so vulnerable to the desire to give up and leave our marriages, end friendships, quit jobs, hesitate on starting a new career, move to a new state, leave an unhealthy relationship or simply voice our opinions.  Commitment is powerful; it’s a part of the foundation of who we are and without it we’re not living to our full potential.  Today make a vow to increase your level of commitment so you are a beneficiary of its power in your life.

Created by:  Olympia F. Boyce
Founder of Women of Divine Exellence
http://www.womenofdivinexcellence.org

I'm Expecting!

Last Sunday, I heard a life changing sermon from our Bishop and it compelled me to share.   The statement that got me thinking was “There is a difference between believing and expecting.”  It caused me to ponder if I was stuck in the stage of believing great things are going to happen in my life or am I in the state of expectation.  You might be thinking, so what’s the difference?  In my own words, believing keeps you in a mental space but expecting shifts you into action.  Expecting causes you to do something.

When a woman goes from believing she is going to become pregnant and discovers she is expecting a baby, everything changes.  Her new state of expecting requires her to do things she was not doing when she was simply in the position of believing it would happen.

Expectation creates…

·         An attitude shift – Expecting causes excitement and motivation which becomes a driving force. 

·         A language shift – Individuals in a state of expectation tend to speak in present tense.  For example, phrases such as “I am” instead of “I will” are used.  Speaking in present tense keeps you more conscious.    Even when a woman cannot physically see the baby she speaks as if he or she is already here.

·         Preparation – An expecting woman starts to prepare by eating right, choosing baby names and/or designing the baby room.   If you expect to be an artist, homeowner, or a career shift you must start preparing.

·         A celebration – When in the state of expecting you do not wait to celebrate you start early.  A baby shower usually happens before the baby is born.  This event allows everyone to celebrate with gifts, well wishes, and advice for the expectation of the new arrival.

It is important to believe; however, expecting brings you closer to the goal.  I hope you join me as I shift out of simply believing and into the world of expectation.  Expect the great!

LOVE COSTS...

You have probably heard the adage “Love Don’t Cost a Thang”, but the truth is… that’s false.  True love costs!  Ask a mother that has been on her knees all night praying for her rebellious son.  Or, inquire with a faithful husband whose wife just went through her first round of chemo.  Listen to the heart of a family that refuses to fall apart due to the distress of unemployment.  Love will cost you something.  Love requires you to give something.  Perhaps your something is patience, a kind word, sleep, time, money, a listening ear, forgiveness, a hug, tears, compassion, endurance, etc.  Where have we gotten the idea that love is easy, effortless and should bring no pain?  Love tries everything within! 

Examine your relationships; are you giving or solely the receiver?  Are your expectations of love a fairytale or do you realize it takes work?  Not abuse, work; there is a difference.  The more you put in, the more you get out!  Yep, loving is not easy but the rewards are endless.  In retrospect, I recognize how I fell short within the matters of love.  There were occasions my love was conditional, with stipulations and if I experienced any discomfort I was out of there.  It took me awhile to realize I did not know what true love was.  Today, I forgive more, release more, and listen more.  I realize change always starts with me and now I stop looking for someone else to change.  My past errs with love are processing me and developing a wiser woman.

Begin the journey of embracing true love by loving yourself.  Love yourself enough to make the sacrifices necessary to live an authentic, purposeful life.  This Valentine’s Day stop looking for what you can get and simply GIVE!

MOVING FORWARD

A glacier NEVER takes back a large piece of ice broken into the ocean.

A tree NEVER reattaches a leaf that blew to the ground.

Hurricanes, NEVER go back to undo its extensive damage.

Snow NEVER returns due to falling a month too early.

And an extensive fire NEVER backtracks to undo the destruction.

THE EARTH NEVER MOVES IN REVERSE!

The Earth is constantly moving forward.  The idea of fixing things by moving backwards is never entertained by the universe.  There is never a redo in nature, creation or our existence!  What happens today is left into today.  Tomorrow is a new day.  We can gain wisdom from this life lesson. 

This very moment is the opportunity available to do something different.  If yesterday was not what you had planned, new actions today will afford a different outcome.  Everything is moving forward whether we go with the process or not.  The only thing that tends to stay stuck in the past is our MINDSET!  Today, I encourage you to THINK FORWARD and you will begin to MOVE FORWARD!

Pursuing that Still Small Voice...

          I entered 2012 like many of you desiring a change and seeking God’s Will for my life.  So often in that pursuit we look outside ourselves for answers and I did just that.  I received a conference flyer from a high profile motivational speaker and desperately wanted to attend.  My theory was if I could be in a certain atmosphere I would gain direction, tools and be empowered.  However, I was not able to take advantage of the opportunity due to the registration deadline.  Frustrated, I scanned my emails and found a free e-book download.  This author shared her journey about how she overcame her life obstacles and got to the place of finding purpose and passion.  Within the 35 pages of this e-book one comment radically got my attention, which said, no one can give you the answers you seek but that still small voice within.  Wow, did this quicken my spirit!  I was reminded the answers I seek require me to turn inward. 

That night I was eager to get into a place of meditation, not really sure how I was going to do this but I was eager and excited to get quiet.  In a silent room and atmosphere everything was silent except my mind.  I could not stop my mind from racing; thoughts of defeat, fear, the past, and individuals were crowding me.  I could not think!  I found myself spending most of my time trying to get my mind subdued.  This alarmed me…  I did not know my mind was so cluttered and distracted.  That night was not a successful meditation night but it was a night of awareness. 

           Annoyed, I began to research how to meditate.  I found much information on the topic as I began narrowing the search towards Christian meditation which focuses on mediating on the Word of God.  I tried again and was much more successful but still struggled with quieting my mind.  In that moment, I remembered I had the book “Battlefield of the Mind” by Joyce Meyer and began to pour myself in her book to get answers.  THIS BOOK IS A MUST-READ!  Mrs. Meyer teaches what state our mind should be in and how to pull down the strongholds that keep you from having a sound mind.  Boy, did I need to get my mind right!  Funny, I did not realize at the time that it was that still small voice directing me to the book.

           All the answers you need are in God.  The Holy Spirit, the still small voice within, is always guiding and directing us into all truth if we could just listen.  We work on so many things and tend to neglect the mind.  Yet, everything starts with our thoughts, then spoken words, and becomes your lifestyle.  Perhaps, you are unaware of your purpose, have a plan but not sure where to begin, busy but not experiencing results, crowded by the past issues and hang-ups, or plain ole confused, you name it we could go on and on.  No matter, where you fall today, that still small voice has all your answers and is ready to guide you on your path towards wholeness, freedom and purpose.