A mid-life crisis is nothing more than an opportunity...

I spoke with a friend coming up on the big 4-0.  Instead of feeling excited, he was panicking.   Frightened because he was close to the halfway mark in life and did not accomplish what he thought he would, fearful of how aging will affect him financially and worried about being alone (since he has no wife or children).   He was simply in a state of panic about what his future holds.

I think we all have considered our life and thought OMG where am I and where am I going?  However, this is not the time to entertain depression this is an opportunity for change by implementing new strategies.

I did not have the answers for him but was able to share some wisdom…

1. Be Grateful – Seeing another year healthy and well is a blessing.  Having a grateful heart tends to overshadow what you do not currently have.
2. Plan – Your life today is the sum total of your decisions.  Not pleased with the current outcome then make new choices that could provide the desired outcome.
3. Change – In continuation with item 2, as you plan begin to implement strategies to maintain or increase better health, financial structure, social connections.  Make the necessary changes for success.
4. Live – All you are guaranteed is this moment so live joyfully and peacefully.  Have fun.  Learn a new skill.  Travel.  Do something you have always wanted to do.
5. Celebrate – Celebrate every small and large win.  Celebrate the day you were born.  Celebrate all your life experiences.  Celebrate that you are still here.  Celebrate!

The To-Do List…

We have less than two months left for 2012.  There is perhaps an item you wanted to make happen that has not been touched yet.  It’s not too late.

Writing things down can make a world of difference in accomplishing or not accomplishing things.  Most individuals that write a to-do list get more things done than those that do not.  Make a list of the items you desire to achieve then choose ONE realistic goal that can be done before the end of this year.

READY… SET… GO…  Get moving you have less than eight weeks, however you can do it. 

Post your accomplishments on this blog so we can help you celebrate.

Embracing the Moment

We have all experienced a delightful moment and wanted it to transcend into our future.  But sometimes a moment is all it is… a moment!  It wasn’t a season, lifetime or introduction to anything.  It was just a moment filled with purpose.  If we are not careful, we can lose the impact of life’s moments.

Our lives are filled with strings of moments.  If we ignore every moment we will miss their purpose.  I believe moments are bite-sized life lessons to excite, insight, inspire, renew, reveal, recharge, remind, provide caution, quicken, bring joy, celebrate, invigorate, as well as provide information.

I encourage you to reflect on your last impactful moment.  What did it provide?  What did you learn?  How does it change your outlook on the future?  Do not use your human effort to make it into something more.  If its intention is for something greater it will materialize if you just let it happen.

The Birthing Room

Enduring a process can feel like it’s staged in a birthing room. 

Individuals are there cheering you on yet none of them are feeling the pain you are experiencing, causing you at times to feel alone.  The desire to have the baby (promise) has reached a crescendo, but the necessary pain accompanied with this moment is frightening.  The pain seems unbearable and is filled with panic, fear and doubt.  The realization is clear, the only way to stop the pain is to go through it – pushing through the pain to obtain the promise is the only way. 

Obtaining the promises of God could require you to push pass the emotions of screaming, crying, profusely sweating, squeezing a hand, taking calculated breaths, giving all you have within to receive it.  You have to push pass doubt, the unknown, insecurity, abuse, the past, your disappointments and failures.  You can do it ~ you can push through the birthing phase into promise.  Just PUSH!

Letting Go in LOVE

It hurts when individuals decide to leave our lives.  However holding them hostage physically, emotionally or mentally is nothing less than poison to your bones.  It is like a cancer that eats from the inside out.  We hold individuals hostage when we do not forgive.  Even though, many do not want to hear it… the way to forgiveness is through love. 

The act of "loving yourself" materializes each and every time you let go of the anger, drama, and the sting associated with that person and/or occurrence.  Yep, it’s easier said than done however, concentrating on “letting go” instead of “holding on” will move you closer towards healing.  Surely, the day will come when you can see their exodus as a life lesson without the pain.

Save Yourself First!

Airline stewardesses remind us when communicating safety procedures to place the air mask on ourselves first before helping ANYONE else.  Without ensuring your safety the risk of dying and not being able to assist others becomes magnified.  Saving yourself first is not a selfish act – it is a strategic approach to better ensure that everyone will make it through the crisis safely.

As women, we tend to take on the “saving the world syndrome” while dying within.  Initially, there are feelings of great momentum and strength that comes with wearing an “S” on your chest.  However, if you do not save yourself first you run the risk of burning out and becoming ineffective to all parties.

So adhere to this warning!  Get “you” right; make sure “you” are secure; ensure “your” health FIRST.  And the chances of withstanding while saving others will increase tremendously.

OLYMPIC WISDOM

The 2012 Olympics have been wonderful.  I have been watching sports that I never knew existed and loving it all.  There were many surprises and high expectations of who would obtain the Gold, Silver and Bronze metals, nevertheless, every player provided insight that we can transfer into our day to day interactions.  As I share the Olympic Wisdom I learned, please include your comments of what inspired you from these players.

Wisdom 1:

Determination, discipline, hard work and consistency are basic requirements to be in the game.  Whether obtaining a win or not every player has to develop and train to reach success of simply being a part of the Olympics.  I heard some players’ share they had not watched TV for over a year, others had to be separated from family and friends for a long period of time.  The bottom line is they had to do whatever it took to become Olympic worthy.  Nugget:  You and I must do the work required to be and win in the game of life.

Wisdom 2:

Confidence -   Much of what separates excellence from averageness are those who believe in themselves.  This belief caused many Olympians to exceed their own expectations.    As they believed in their ability it was almost like they gained superman/superwoman abilities where there was nothing they could not accomplish.  Nugget:  Great confidence will allow you to excel far above those who still wonder if they are good enough. 

Wisdom 3:

It takes a whole team to WIN!  Even when some players were individual participants in their particular sport, for example the divers, it still took the coach, their families, peers and supporters rooting them on, encouraging and empowering them  to cultivate the win.  To make it to the top and acquire greatness it will take a team.  Nugget:  There are no lone rangers in the game of life; it takes a team to WIN.

So now it’s your turn.  Please share how you have been inspired by the Olympians this year.

No matter what you do, NEVER give up!

A few weeks ago, I was faced with a moment of despair, frustration and weariness!  I know you understand, when you are working on a project for weeks, months, even years and it just does not seem to progress the way you expect.  My project was a business venture but it could have been a relationship, financial breakthrough, weight loss, etc...  In disappointment, I wanted to pack it up and sit down.  But I thank God that He knows just how to send the right people, situation, song, and sermon to pick me back up.  God knows just what you need to get that second wind that keeps you pushing and pressing towards VICTORY.

Trust me, you will make it.  Things will work out but we must go through the grueling process if we plan to WIN.  Yep, the process is no picnic; it is not easy but worth it if you hold on.   We all deserve a time-out moment and may even entertain the “giving up” syndrome.  However, do not stay there too long; a 24 hour time out session can turn into 24 months if you are not careful.  Take a night, weekend off then get back in the game.  During your time of recuperation maximize the moment by doing something that brings you enjoyment and/or relaxation! 

I LOVE music!  This song encourages me; may these lyrics bless you too.

There will be mountains that I will have to climb
And there will be battles that I will have to fight
But victory or defeat, it's up to me to decide
But how can I expect to win If I never try.

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me.

Please, share your strategies for getting out of a funk and getting back into the flow. 

Your Preference may not be MINES...

I apologize for my lapse in sharing by blogging; wonderful changes are coming soon, but in the meantime, I’m back and ready to share…

Every person has the opportunity to live their life on their terms.   At times, an individual’s life decisions can be difficult to understand, annoying, chaotic and/or troublesome to another.  What is normal to a certain individual can be crazy thinking to you.  However, we all have the freewill to make choices…

One’s preference may be to drink their coffee dark while another thinks it would taste awful that way and prefer their coffee with flavored cream and sugar; one person may think gaining a college degree is overrated and expensive while another person sees it as an opportunity for expansion, promotion and leverage.  Is anyone more right than the other?  In these cases no, we all have preferences! 

Even in our life convictions when we take a stand not compromise any other view point as right, an individual still has the right to disagree.   This was a difficult life lesson for me.  I had to mature in the understanding that he or she has the right to live their life the way they desire.  However, I do not have to agree with you to love you. 

Healthy relationships at times require we agree to disagree.  How has someone else’s preferences caused discomfort for you?  And how can you look beyond their difference(s)?

Summer Prayer

This prayer by Inspired Women blessed me so I decided to share and pray it blesses you too.  If I could express my heart wishes in prayer for you it would be...

Father, this month completes the first half of this year and and we thank You for all that You have done and continue to do in our lives. We thank You for the dreams, blessings, and grace that You have bestowed upon us. We thank You for those things that You have yet to unfold. As we look ahead to the next six months, we ask that You would continue to guide us with wisdom.  We ask that for those that have become weary, the latter half of this year be greater and they reap a 100 fold harvest of Your goodness. We ask for a refreshing to the body of Christ.

Father, we also pray for the families that will be traveling and enjoying this summer. We ask that You cover them with angels of protection, and fill them with Your love, peace, joy, and happiness.  We bless and cover all of Your children...In Jesus' Name. Amen

Happy Summer!